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Writing the Query Letter Part 1 - The Hook        

by Elana Johnson

I know, I know. There are literally hundreds of websites where you can go to find out how to write a query letter. But the fact is, you don't want just a query letter. You want a great query letter--one that sets yours above the others.

I know, I know, I know. There are literary agents who have blogged on how to craft these suckers. They're right. They have good advice. I am no literary agent, but I did take a class at a conference on writing a killer query. We had to submit our letters before the class and the published author teaching the class reviewed them. Mine wasn't like, awesome or anything. But it did, ahem, win. I didn't get a publishing contract or even a bar of chocolate. I did get a round of applause for my hook, and several nods from industry people. You know the kind. The nod of approval, large initial bend with several smaller nods of the head. One editor said she'd definitely like to read my book from the query letter. She did. I got rejected. Life goes on.

So I'm going to share what I learned in the class. It made my query better. The instructor taught that there are four parts to an effective query. This article is part one - The Hook.

The Hook

You need a good hook. Scratch that. You need a phenomenal hook. Something that really grabs the reader and says, "Read this! It's going to be good! Then request my full!"

The hook should do two things:

  1. Grab the reader (aka the agent) and propel her through the whole letter.
  2. Sum up the main plot of the novel.

Here's one I've written: "Jonathan Clarke has everything a seventeen-year-old boy could want--except for a beating heart."

This screams fantasy of some kind. At least to me. Or maybe that screaming in my head isn't supposed to be there… Anyway, I had a couple of full requests using that hook. I think it's quite grabby and it does tell the main plot, the driving force behind much of the novel. This dude, Jon, he really wants a beating heart and you better read to find out how/when/if he gets one.

Then I rewrote the book, which of course changed the main plot. So the hook changed to this: "Sixteen-year-old Annie Jenkins must control the magic to balance the realm--it's too bad her unknown abilities are hidden beneath her inhalant addiction."

I received a few more full requests--and a few more rejections. But this hook does, again, tell the main plot. All in 23 words.

Sometimes the hook can be a little longer, like this one I wrote for a different novel: "In a world where Thinkers control the population and the Rules are not meant to be broken, fifteen-year-old Violet Schoenfeld does a spectacular job of shattering them to pieces."

This hook

  1. Propels you to read the rest of the letter, and
  2. Tells the main plot of the novel

That's what you want your hook to do.

I don't think there's one right way to write the hook, but there are lots of wrong ways. The point is, you need a hook. A good one. A strong one. A sharp one. So get out your whetstone and sharpen those hooks!

Don't miss the rest of this series on query letters (links below)!

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About the Author

Elana Johnson is a contributing author of the QueryTracker blog (http://querytracker.blogspot.com), a regular on the QT forum, and an aspiring young adult author. Her queries have seen multiple requests. To learn more about Elana, visit her blog on writing, publishing and life at http://elanajohnson.blogspot.com.

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